Stacey hates my guts. Or so it seems. We’re going to the Sheraton this Sunday, Mother’s Day, for brunch at 2:00. On the way home from school today Dicer had contact with Mommy Guido, another one of his far-fetched lies. Dicer also said he crammed Hobbit- and I just said yeah. I’m going to get to the bottom of this by calling MRLPG (356-XXXX). I’m still having dreams about Blade’s Bladess, Lauren. I have a big track meet tonight at 5:30. Long jump. Sincerely, Blade.

Note from present day Mike: Every Mother’s Day, my family would head to the Sheraton in Concord, PA, right near Concord Mall. Now about those code names. “Dicer” was Michael DeMattei, my childhood pal from 80th Street in Southwest Philly. I guess we all had tough sounding street names, with Mike D. being Dicer and myself being Blade. Meanwhile, we were all of 11 or 12 years old or so. “Mommy Guido” was actually Portugese… Rosa LoPiccolo was her name. “MRLPG” was an amalgamation of her real name and our nickname for her. Oh, and there is no way Mike D. did a single thing with her. “Hobbit” was our friend Jenny Sullivan. She was a tiny little girl, hence our calling her Hobbit. No way Mike did anything with her either. We were just too clueless.